What Is Life
by Legacy55
Summary: Perplexed by the eternal question, Twilight undergoes a existentialist journey to find the meaning of her life.


"Alright, now that's my second astronomy report done… Only two more to go…" Twilight let out an exhausted sigh as she finished re-reading her latest report. Only somewhat satisfied with her late night writing, she placed it in a pile of completed work. Slowly grabbing another blank piece of parchment she wet her quill in the ink which was as black as the sky outside.

_I've sure had a lot of homework to do recently; I wonder why the Princess is stepping it up so much… _ Twilight thought silently as her lazily quill drifted across the page, decorating it in sloppy writing that was barely legible. _Look at me, I can't even write properly with magic!_

Although she had no mirror, she was sure her appearance resembled that of a train wreck. Her unkempt, spilt-end riddled mane sat just inches from her eyes. Under said somnolent eyes, she could feel heavy bags that threatened to drag her off to sleep.

Realizing that a break would do her some good, she halted her work and rubbed her weary eyes. _Yet another late night spent writing reports… And what will I do after these are done, go to sleep? Wake up to do the same exact thing tomorrow night? Not to mention I have to categorize that new load of books, AND I have to clean the library…_

Twilight let out another sigh, this one from more of angst and sadness than mere fatigue. _What's the point of all this? Am I just wasting my time with all these reports?_

She stared down at the sparsely covered paper with a look of disgust. _What was the point of all those years studying in Canterlot? To come here to Ponyville and so the same thing? And after this, am I just going to spend my life working? That's no different than this…_

The lavender mare dragged her hoof across her desk, brushing off the monstrosity that she had somehow considered a report. In frustration she slumped her head against the desk and buried her face in her hooves. _Sure, I have my friends… But they won't be around forever, and in the end would they really matter? I'll die one day, so does any of this matter? What's the point?!_

Now she felt more confused than angry, as a question came to her mind that she was unable to answer. _What's the meaning of life, what's the meaning of __**my **__life? _The question seemed so simple, yet the answer felt intangible and unattainable. _If I'm to go on with life, I need to know the answer! I've had enough of all this pointless studying; if I'm going to study it's going to be about something important! _

Twilight jumped up from her desk and hurried downstairs, her lone candle following her through the darkness. After coming to a halt in the main room of the library, she quickly went about pulling any relevant and hopefully helpful texts from their shelves.

* * *

Twilight placed the book back onto the shelf with a long, drawn out sigh. The rays of morning had penetrated through the windows, shinning a bright and painful light on the worn out unicorn. "Well, that book certainly didn't have the answer…" She complained before reaching for another book from her shrinking pile that was absent of any colorful pictures.

"Did you really spend all night reading? What's got you so worked up?" Spike asked as he leaned down from the side of the bedroom floor, watching the lavender unicorn with only partial interest. He would have much preferred to return to his comfy bed, but he decided it would be better to hear whatever was making her so worried.

"Our reason for being here!" Twilight exclaimed as she flipped through the book, stopping only for a moment to glance up at Spike. "Why am I here? Why are you here? This is the biggest question in the whole universe, and I don't even know the answer!"

"Uh, are you sure you'll find that answer in a load of books?"

"Well I have to at least try!"

Spike sighed and crawled over to his bed, quickly forgetting about his boss and her concerns as he got under his comforting blanket. He'd deal with it when he woke up in a few hours. Within moments snores filled the library, though Twilight hardly noticed during her frantic reading.

"These books don't have any answers!" Twilight yelled before throwing her text across the library. She sighed again and slumped to the floor, trying at least to calm herself down. _How is it I never worried about this before? How can everypony just go about their day when they don't even know why we're here?!_

The question had been buzzing around in her head like an angry parasprite since last night, and she had gone through practically every book in the library dealing with life and philosophy. Though despite all her reading, she felt no closer to the answer then when she had first started thinking about it. _Maybe Spike is right, maybe these kind of answers can't be found in books…_

Sick of the library's silent atmosphere and her assistant's lack of help, Twilight got off of the floor and hurried onto the street. _Maybe it's time I started asking some of my friends. It's a long shot, but maybe they might just say something insightful…_

* * *

"Just a few more emeralds here… A few rubies there… And now just a pinch of sapphires… Ah, c'est magnifique! Don't you agree Opal?" Rarity turned away from her latest dress and towards her sleeping cat. She merely continued sleeping on her bed, the prim unicorn soon giving her a frown. "Ah, my brilliance is lost on such simple animals…"

Rarity returned to her work, placing all of the finishing touches on what soon would no doubt be a masterpiece. She had nearly finished, but was interrupted by a knocking on her door. "Oh no, who could that be, don't they know I'm busy?" She complained before hurrying downstairs to answer her front door.

"Rarity! I need to ask you something very important!" Twilight shouted as soon as her friend had opened the door. Rarity stared at her for a few moments before finally ushering her in.

"Twilight dear, what's the problem? I _was _just in the middle of working, but if it really is important I don't mind helping at all!"

"Well…" The lavender mare stopped a moment to catch her breath as she had ran nonstop to her friend's house. "I don't really know how to explain this but… I've been thinking a lot about my life recently, and I just don't know if all this studying and learning is really worth it… What's our reason for being here? What's the point of us doing all these things every single day?"

Rarity stared blankly at her, stunned that she would ask such a surprising question. "Twilight, I really am quite flattered that you would ask me of all ponies! Follow me; I think I may be able to help you."

Rarity started upstairs, and Twilight followed with a growing smile. _Can Rarity really help me? She hasn't really read or studied anything, but I'm starting to think Spike was right…_

They entered her workshop/bedroom, where across from them sat a magnificent dress that was embroiled with dozens of gems. It was made of a dark red velvet that seemed to attract the light perfectly, and Twilight found it hard to take her eyes off of it. It was probably the most beautiful dress her friend had ever made.

"The meaning of life Twilight…" Rarity began, taking a dramatic pause before waving a hoof at her dress. "Is beauty! What's a better reason for living life than beauty? Take this dress for example; it's a true work of art. Take notice of how the jewels are patterned, a perfect distance left between each other so the eye can truly take in its glorious splendor!"

"Well… that dress really is exceptional! But I don't think that's all life is, just a geometric placement of objects onto another object."

"Well of course not! It's not just fashion, but all art! Anything a pony pours their heart and soul into; whether it is a dress, a painting, a sculpture, a song or a book. Beauty and art create true happiness, and I assure you Twilight, it's our reason for being here. Or at least mine."

Twilight turned back to the dress, her eyes slowly crossing its many seams and elegant stitches. _Is Rarity right? Is this the meaning of life, art? True, it expresses a great deal of passion and emotion, but I don't know… I suppose it's a possibility._

"Well." She turned back to her friend with a slight smile. "Thank you Rarity, I'll think about what you said."

"It's no problem at all dear!" Rarity assured her as she began gathering the last of her needed materials to resume work on her dress. "I just hope you find the answer you're looking for."

_So do I… _

Twilight waved goodbye before leaving the boutique, stepping onto the slightly deserted street with an uneasy and uncomfortable stance. _I don't feel any closer than before, if anything I'm even more confused…_

Though, perhaps one of her other friends could help her. They had stopped Nightmare Moon and Discord, how hard would it than be for them to answer this one question? She contemplated who of her friends to ask next as she walked down the street. She was so immersed in though she walked straight into another pony, only giving the burly stallion a quick apology before running off.

Her most recent question seemed to answer itself as she caught sight of Sugarcube Corner, the large pink building standing alone like an island in the open plaza. She rushed up the steps and pushed through the door, a quaint and familiar bell running through the store to signify her arrival.

Pinkie Pie poked her head out of the kitchen, a massive grin spreading across her face as she realized who had just entered. "Hey Twilight! Wanna try the new cake I just baked? It should be done in just a second!"

Before Twilight could even reply the pink pony rushed back into the kitchen, an extremely loud clattering of pots and pans soon following. After a few moments she re-entered the main room of the store, a massive chocolate cake perched on her back.

"And… perfect!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed as she placed the enormous confection onto the front counter.

"Wow, that cake looks delicious!" Twilight remarked as her mouth salivated at the thought of eating such a luxurious treat. She was so absorbed in staring at it she even forget the question that had been pressing her mind so frequently.

"Well I haven't tried it yet, but I imagine it is! It's got six different kinds of chocolate! Dark, white, milk, couverture…"

Twilight didn't even pay attention to what she was saying; she was far too busy forming a puddle of saliva underneath her hooves.

"Well, what do you say we try it then?" Pinkie Pie asked to an immediate nod from her lavender friend. "Alright!" She quickly cut some for both of them, the unicorn immediately digging into her piece.

"Oh my Celestia, this is amazing Pinkie!" Twilight exclaimed, her body shuddering in ecstasy as her taste buds were graced with such a beautiful sensation. "The chocolate just melts in your mouth…"

"I know right?" Pinkie Pie smiled as she devoured her entire piece in one bite. She licked her lips clean before cutting herself some more. "So Twilight…" She said after eating her third slice. "What brought you here, a craving for something sweet?"

_Ah, I've never tasted something so good… _Twilight was far too distracted by the divine taste in her mouth to listen to her friend. However a poke to her shoulder snapped her back to reality. "Uh, I'm sorry, what did you say Pinkie?"

"I said…" Pinkie stated as she finished her sixth and seemingly final piece. "What brought you out to Sugarcube Corner?"

"Oh, that's right!" Twilight suddenly remembered her pressing question, and the cake took a secondary place in her mind. "I was wondering Pinkie, if I can ask you an important question…"

"Sure Twilight!" Pinkie pie beamed as she hopped over the counter to stand by her friend. "Oh oh, even better, don't ask me! I'll figure it out on my own!"

"I don't think-"

"Do you want me to bake you something? Or throw you a party? Oh, or maybe you have an infestation of termites at the library and you need your old heroic friend Pinkie Pie to come save you!"

"No…"

"Oh darn, I thought for sure that was it…" Pinkie Pie sat on the tiled floor and contemplated her question.

"Listen Pinkie, this question is very important so I want you to give it a lot of thought. I've been wondering a lot about it recently, so here it is. What's the meaning of life?"

Pinkie paused for a moment, almost as if the gears in her head were now working around the clock. The next moment she smiled and leaped high into the air. "Oh that's easy! Everypony knows the meaning of life is pleasure!"

"Pleasure?" Twilight repeated, surprised that her pink friend even had an answer.

"Yes! What's better in life than eating delicious foods and partying with your friends? Wasn't that cake just the tastiest, yummiest thing you've ever eaten? I bet the whole time you were eating it you didn't think for a second about your question, or anything else for that matter!" Pinkie Pie looked at her with a smile, Twilight merely gazing back with her mouth agape.

She was right, for the brief period when she had eaten the cake the pestering question had finally relented. Perhaps her pink friend held some actual wisdom… "But well, isn't that a little selfish? Wouldn't you hurt other ponies if you just pursued your own pleasures?"

Pinkie Pie turned away from the lavender unicorn and lunged at the defenseless cake, devouring the entire confection within mere seconds. Twilight watched with wide eyes and a bit of a frown. "Well sometimes, but not always! We all have fun at my parties right? It's not like anypony is getting hurt there."

"I wanted another piece…" Twilight mumbled sadly at the now empty platter, Pinkie Pie merely grinned at her.

"Don't worry Twilight, I made two cakes! The other one should be done any minute now!"

_I guess Pinkie's right; the pursuit of pleasure doesn't always hurt other ponies. And the best moments of my life have been the one's with my friends, that's pleasure isn't it? Is that really what life is all about?_

A loud ringing snapped her out of her thoughts, and Pinkie rushed into the kitchen to retrieve the second cake. _ For now though, I'd rather forget about this and eat some more cake…_

* * *

"Thanks again Pinkie, you actually helped me a lot!" Twilight exclaimed with a smile as stepped out the door.

"No problem Twilight, and remember, I'm having another party this weekend!" Pinkie Pie waved with a grin as she watched her lavender friend leave the store.

Now she had another problem, which of her friend's to ask next. _Rarity and Pinkie Pie actually has some pretty good answers! I don't know if they're right though… Sure, art is beautiful, and it can create so much emotion… But not all ponies create art, in fact most of them don't. Surly there must be something else…_

_Pleasure, that one seems to make more sense… I do love spending time with my friends, and of course reading! That's all pleasure, and I suppose these moments of luxury and relaxation balance out all the work and pain we suffer. Still, I don't know… Life can't be so simple…_

Once again, her current dilemma seemed to solve itself as she spotted a rainbow blur zigzagging through the sky. It flew in several loops and corkscrews, before finally landing in front of the puzzled unicorn. Rainbow Dash pushed the messy bangs from her face and smiled at her friend.

"Hey Twilight! You like the show? It's my brand new routine; I'm sure the wonder bolts are going to love it!"

"Right…" Twilight mumbled as she rolled her eyes. She was just about to ask the cyan pegasus her perplexing question, before a thought came to her mind. _Is asking Rainbow this really a good idea? She's not the most educated of ponies, nor the most philosophical… Rarity and Pinkie Pie are one thing, but-_

"You look confused, can I help?" Rainbow Dash asked, breaking her chain of thought and causing her to look up from the grey road. She found her friend staring at her intently, judging her puzzled expression.

"Uh, actually…" _Well, nothing ventured nothing gained… _"I do have something you might be able to help me with!"

"Really, what is it? Do you need me to save somepony? Or is there something the Princess needs done that she'd only trust with the fastest pegasus in Equestria?" Rainbow Dash took flight once again, before doing several over ambitious flips and landing directly beside Twilight.

Twilight sighed as her ego and bragging once again returned. "No… It's a very important question, and I'd really like it if you thought about it hard…"

"No problem Twi! Whatever you need, just ask!"

"Well…" Twilight mumbled as she once again tried to search for words to explain her dire situation. "I've been doing a lot of work lately, and I don't really know if this is all worth it. What's the point of me spending my whole life studying? What's the point of us doing anything?! What's the meaning of life?!" As she finished she yelled much louder than she had wanted to, and the two of them were soon stared at by any nearby ponies.

"Wow, calm down Twi…" Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes before laying a hoof across her friend's back. "I think you have been working a lot lately, maybe just a little too much…"

"Well, aren't you going to answer my question?"

"Twilight, if there's one thing I've learned in my life; it's that life is all about excitement! What would it be if we just sat around working all day? Sort of like you, no offence…"

"None taken…" She muttered sarcastically.

"Well I'm just saying that we all need excitement and risk in our lives! There's nothing more exhilarating than pulling out of a dive at the very last second! Man, it gets my blood pumping just thinking about it! I'm sure that's all that you need Twi, just a little excitement."

"I don't know…" Twilight said as she went back to looking blankly at the street.

"Trust me Twilight, I'm sure you'll feel much better after you finally put those books down and do something."

"Maybe…" Twilight sighed, still feeling conflicted and confused. "Thanks anyway Rainbow…" She teleported away, the next second finding herself in the still vacant library. She could still hear Spike snoring from upstairs.

_I still don't know about all this… They all gave different answers, but I don't know which one's right… Or if any of them at all are right for that matter… Sure, I like art, pleasure and excitement… But that's not what my life is about… That's not something I want to live for…_

She shot up, an idea coming to her mind that she felt stupid for not thinking of before. _Princess Celestia! She'll know the answer; she's the oldest and wisest pony I know! Why didn't I think of this sooner?!_

With renewed ambition and perseverance Twilight teleported out of the library.

* * *

Twilight appeared in the Princess's study to find it empty. Aside from a single desk with a mountain of paperwork placed on top, there was no furniture in the room. There were several large windows that allowed a great deal of sunlight into the room. She was just about to leave when the door opened and her teacher paced in.

"Twilight! What are you doing here?!" Celestia immediately asked as she stepped back upon seeing her student.

"Princess! I guess this is kind of awkward, maybe I should have teleported outside first…" Twilight mumbled as she scratched the back of her head. "Anyway, I really need your help…"

"Help? Well, you know I'm here for you whenever you need me. Ask away." Celestia smiled as she gazed at her student, who to her looked rather distressed.

"Well… I just don't know what's the point of my life… What's the point of all this work and studying I'm doing for you… I can't even think rationally now, everything I think about has to do with this… I just can't go on until I find the meaning of life…"

Celestia stared at her for several moments, and the lavender unicorn just stared back. Throughout almost all of Twilight's she had had the Princess to count on. Whenever she was in trouble and needed help, she could always turn to her teacher. Now, she felt she needed her and her wisdom more than ever.

"That's a very interesting question Twilight. A question I'm sure we all ask ourselves at least once in our lives. And it's not a question that can so easily be answered."

"I asked some of my friends, and they each gave me a different answer."

"Oh? And what did you discover?"

"Well…" Twilight looked away from her teacher's large magenta eyes and gazed through the large windows. The landscape seemed to stretch on for forever, as they were currently in one of the highest points of the castle. She could just make out the speck that was Ponyville in the distance. "I'm still confused, though I guess they helped a little… Rarity said that life's all about art and passion. Pinkie Pie said that it was about pleasure, and Rainbow Dash said it was about excitement… But I don't know… I still don't feel satisfied."

"Those are all very good answers, you have caring friends Twilight. Though this isn't something they can answer, nor can I. However, I believe I can help. There are many different ponies in the world Twilight, and there are practically an infinite number of lives we can live. They all have different personalities, beliefs, goals, and interests. Do you really think then that the meaning of life can be explained?"

Twilight reflected upon her teacher's words. She was indeed right; there were many different ponies in the world. Just looking at each of her friend's varied answers told her that. "But surely there must be something, anything! There has to be a meaning!"

"Ah, you are right there. There is no great meaning, no all encompassing answer that everypony should live by. However there is meaning in each of our lives, different meanings. For your friend Rarity, her greatest interest is fashion. Therefore obviously her purpose in life would be to create art, to contribute something beautiful to this world. Pinkie Pie loves to party and enjoy sweets, so her purpose is to enjoy these things to the fullest. But just because those are their meanings doesn't mean you have the same. Do you understand, Twilight?"

Twilight nodded, her teacher's words of wisdom helping greatly to calm her distressed mind. However, she still felt an intense longing for an answer. She still felt incredibly unsatisfied. "But what's the meaning of my life than? Who am I supposed to be? What am I supposed to do?"

"That, my dear student…" Celestia said as she nuzzled her head against Twilight's. "Is for you to decide. You create your own meaning, your own purpose for being in this world."

Now, finally, she began to understand. The answer she was looking for couldn't have been found in some book, just as Spike had said. It was so much more than that, so much bigger. _Sure, I'll die one day, just like everypony else. And everything I did in life won't really have mattered, but it matters right now. And that's what's important._ "I… I guess my purpose is magic then. I guess all that studying and writing reports really does pay off."

"Well that's what I was hoping for. You know, I don't just give you homework to make your life worse." Celestia smirked at her.

"That's actually what stared all of this. I was writing your reports last night, and I couldn't help but feel it was all pointless. I thought all the hard work and effort I was putting into it was wasted. I guess I was wrong…"

"If you ever get overburden with work, just tell me. I certainly wouldn't mind getting a few things late, and I think you really could use the break." Celestia stated before pacing over to her desk and grabbing the first paper on the tall stack.

Twilight smiled, and for the first time since last night she felt happy. Her mind wasn't burdened with the question that she had asked herself so many times. _My meaning is magic… No, not just magic… The Princess, Spike, all of my friends… That's what makes my life worth living…_

"Thank you Princess, really, thank you." She said as she stared intently at her teacher.

"It was no problem Twilight; remember that I'm always here for you." Celestia turned around to reply, and she was met with a much different looking unicorn than the one she had first stumbled upon when she entered the room. She looked much calmer and less worried.

Twilight smiled once again, now finally feeling at peace. _Well, I guess I should get started on that next report… _


End file.
